Week 12 Day 2

   Grain of Salt tip of the day.  Books are good, but not all information in books are good.  Particularly when the books start talking about everything that can possibly go wrong.  Ectopic pregnancy.  Placenta Previa. Spontaneous abortion (miscarriage).  These are just some of the things that the professionals like to scare us with in their books.  All of which we have absolutely no control over and (hopefully) we will never need to concern ourselves with. 

   This is akin to everyone telling us all their horror stories about how pregnancy is awful and how everything is going to go wrong.  Only it’s not.  And it doesn’t in the majority of pregnancies but nobody talks about those so we don’t hear about them.

   So my advice: along with ignoring anecdotal horror stories, skip the parts of the books that cover what can go wrong during a pregnancy.  If any of those happen, we can deal with them as they come.  But I don’t need to worry about things that are never going to happen.  Like the sun going nova in the next million years or so.

Week 12 Day 1

   A friend gave some good advice.  I feel like I’ve been doing pretty good with the pregnancy and childbirth books. (Still have a ways to go)  But all the literature I’ve been reading deals with introducing our child to the world.  All of this preparation for an event lasting only hours. 

   Once that passes, we’ll have a kid to raise for the next 18 years… or the rest of my life. (whichever is longer)

   I’ll be reading how to books for the rest of my life at this rate.

Week 11 Day 7

   Almost half of marriages end in divorce these days.  And everything I’ve read indicates that maintaining a happy marriage is much more difficult after having children.

   Again, I KNOW things are going to be hard from here on out.  And I KNOW that I DON’T know how hard it’s going to be.  But I don’t see how couples can accept divorce as an option without trying everything in their power to maintain happiness with their partners.  Of course, this means talking with and listening to your partner which is maybe something that is being overlooked in marriages that I see spiraling downwards.  Admittedly, if one member is unwilling to meet the other halfway, I guess divorce is inevitable.

   My partner and I have had our ups and downs over the last decade just like everyone else.  But not being an ass means listening to your partner’s needs and wants and being willing to give a little of yourself so that you can both be happy. Maybe I'm just naive... or an ass.

Week 11 Day 6

   The nausea can be kept at bay by eating every couple of hours.  This has led us to inventing multiple meals.  Second breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Multiple snacky times and numerous desserts all help keep the nausea at bay. 

   Well, I suppose I don’t HAVE to participate in the added meal times.  But it sure is fun.  And what kind of husband would I be if I didn’t support my wife, amiright?  So in solidarity I have not only given up alcohol, but I have also joined in the many mealtimes necessary to remain functional.

   Not a bad way to not be an ass.

Week 11 Day 5

   Missed a day.  Oops.  Busy weekend.

   If I pass anything on to my child (other than genetics) I hope that they understand the importance of communication and the role it plays in having a relationship with a life partner.

   I am so fortunate to have someone who is equally willing to discuss whatever issues come up.  It’s not easy.  The easy thing to do is to bury the frustration and just not talk about it. 

   But when my partner and I are able to retrospectively look at the root of the problem and determine how our frustrations develop, the reward is indescribable.  It’s like a huge weight is lifted from my shoulders and I can actually get on with my life.

   THAT is what I hope I can pass on to my child.  

Week 11 Day 3

   We’re in the 12^th week now.  See photo: (Not our baby!)

Along with a quite visible baby bump I’ve noticed some other effects that I only would have noticed after reading it in several books.  If not for those, I wouldn’t have thought anything about it.

   More saliva.  I’ve watched my wife wiping spit away from the corner of her mouth more and more lately.  Then I remember reading that increased salivation can occur for a couple of reasons.  Less swallowing because of nausea or hormones are two possibilities.  “They” are still not really sure why it happens.  But it’s normal.

  This, in my opinion, also has the effect of lowering my partner’s self esteem as she sees it as being unattractive.  Or in her words: “I’m disgusting!”

   And I’d be an ass if I didn’t say that even with the extra spit, my wife is still beautiful and I’m very proud of her.