16 Weeks 5 Days old

   Just when I thought everything was going so well with the bottle, Von Bebe and I had a bad day.  She only had a few drops all morning.  And of course, this on the day that we have an outing to try out some new baby wearing gear.  But that’s another blog entry.

   Bottle feeding and breast feeding are two totally different things.  I, like most Americans, grew up in a society where breast feeding is a pretty taboo thing.  Hopefully, that is changing.  There are so many expectations about breasts and breastfeeding that men have basically been set up to feel inadequate and unprepared for many months after the birth of their child.  But don’t take my word for it.  Check it out here.  Thanks, Hollywood, for making me feel like an ass.

   Obviously, breastfeeding is something that I will never have a chance to experience myself.  I see the connection between my wife and daughter when it is feeding time and can’t help but get a little jealous.  (Of both child AND mother) 

   Not to mention, how awesome would it be to just flip up my shirt when my daughter is hungry.  It would save so much time!  As it is, I have to turn on the sink to get hot tap water, get a bottle out of the fridge (assuming I’ve already prepared a bottle!) and warm up the bottle.  By this time, my daughter could be so upset that she’s not really interested in eating any more.  I’ve gotten pretty good at anticipating feeding times.  But when the routine gets switched up on us, I’m lost.

   As my wife just pointed out, I may have neglected to mention the commitment and sacrifice required by BOTH partners in our endeavor to solely breastfeed for at least 6 months.  (What?  It’s not just about me?)  I’m not the one who has to flip out my taboo body part to nourish our child.  I’m not the one who has to pump when I’m at work.  And I’m not the one who is waking up 2 hours every night. 

   Why do it?  Lots of studies show the importance of breastfeeding.  Many good reasons here.  And it seems there is some benefit to delaying solids until 6 months as it says here.  But then when I look for more information online I find this which says we may harm our baby if we only breastfeed for 6 months.  Can’t win either way.  I guess we’ll just have to use our instincts.

   But as for the bottle feeding, it gets better.  Some days are easy.  Most are not.  Every day is worth it… for this.

16 Week 3 Days old

   I’ve had Paul Simon’s Father and Daughter stuck in my head all day.  Songs didn’t use to have an effect on my like they do now.  Also, sitcoms or movies with fathers and daughters cause a similar gut wrenching emotional response.  Even shows like Castle move me in ways that I didn’t think would happen a year ago.  However, I imagine that Schwarzenegger’s Commando (boy, that took me back) or True Lies would not have the same outcome.  Maybe it’s because I could never see myself in the shoes of the characters filled by Arnie.  Or maybe it’s because he’s a Hummer driving stogie chomping republican.  Not that I could ever see myself in the shoes of Fillian’s Castle, either.  But sleuthing my way through crimes seems nicer than blowing up the world.  It sets a better example for my daughter as I attempt to not be an ass.

16 Weeks 2 Days Old

   Here’s how I’m an ass this week.  I exposed my daughter to something that produced an allergic reaction in the form of a rash over every square inch of her body.  Not once, but twice!  (It took us that long to figure out it was something in the crib)  And I know I shouldn’t be so hard on myself because it’s not like I knew it was going to happen or what was causing it.  That still doesn’t make it any easier to watch her suffer.  Knowing she is experiencing discomfort and knowing there is not a gosh darn thing I can do about it just plain stinks.  I can only imagine how I’ll feel if there is ever a broken limb or a tonsillectomy.

 On top of this, we suspect teething pains are adding to her discomfort.  She’s been so vocal that her voice went a little hoarse.  Listen for yourself:

   At first we were so proud of her for exploring her vocal range.  Then we realized that no, she’s just raspy.  Poor lil’ girl.

   We’re still not sure what the allergy reaction was to specifically.  We narrowed it down to a waterproof pad that goes under her in the case of fountaining pee episodes.  Not sure what is in the pad that made her break out so bad.  Further investigation is required.  And hopefully no more full body rashes.