Almost19 months old

I was really hoping to write more posts this summer.  But things got away from me as they usually do for parents.
   I just returned home from my 20 year high school reunion where a classmate told me that he regularly read my blog back when VB was still in Utero.  This alone is enough to motivate me to write more.  When someone else asked about the title of the blog, I had a hard time articulating who the "ass" is in the title.  I spouted something about douchey dads or inattentive fathers.  Well after giving it some thought I developed some specific ideas as to what kind of dad might be an "ass".  Here they are... Jeff Foxworthy style:

• If you spank your kid, you might be an ass
• If you refuse to read pregnancy books or child rearing books, you might be an ass
• If you've never even heard of Dr. Sears, you might be an ass
• If you refuse to change diapers, you might be an ass
• If you won't push a stroller because it's not manly, you might be an ass
• If you won't let your finger and toe nails get painted, you might be an ass
• If you won't put a clip or barrette in your hair, you might be an ass
• If you were not in the same room when your baby was born, you might be an ass
• If you don't know what a barrette is, you might be an ass
• If you don't take time off work to help your partner with your new child, you might be an ass
• If you only ever give your daughter pink, you might be an ass
• If you only ever give your son blue, you might be an ass
• If you EVER call your pregnant wife fat, you might be an ass
• If you spend too much time on your smart phone, you might be an ass

This is my opinion only.  I fully realize that I have some close family and friends who fall into some of these categories.  I also realize that times are different today than they were 50 or even 20 years ago.  I find myself victim to some of the above comments as well.  (It's really hard to tear away the smart phone sometimes)  I guess I'm saying that if you fall short in just a couple of the above points, you're probably not an ass.  If you identify with every single one, you are most decidedly an ass.  But if that's the case, you're probably not reading my blog. (that would fall under the "refuse to read" point)

   Sadly, I think the guys who are asses don't realize what they're missing.  And I don't know how to get them to understand.

   Feel free to add more points.

Meanwhile, here's my daughter being awesome....

And me trying not to be an ass...

17 Months

We just spent our first night without mom and it was pretty... successful.  There was one long period where VB just couldn't get comfy.  But aside from that, I think we both actually got enough sleep.  
   Here's an earlier shot of her in her own bed.  Mind you, she still spent most of the night in my and my wife's bed.  Co-sleeping FTW.

I think mom was way more worried than either VB or myself.  I'm glad it's only for one night, though.

   So... I use Pinterest.  (Jumped on that bandwagon kind of late actually)  And it's pretty awesome.  I have one board where I post everything that has to do with VB.  Any time there's an article on FB or the interwebs that I find relevant, I pin it.  The board is already quite full.  But there's nothing like a little mass marketed mania to give me pause.  

   While all this information is overwhelming, I take great comfort in the communal knowledge that I have gained with these resources.  A big one that has had me more than a little scared is knowing when and actually having the sex talk with my daughter.  I'm still a ways off, yet, but spending our first night alone is cake next to having this conversation.  Fortunately, some of my pinned resources will make it easier.  Like THIS, for instance.  Armed with this information and more, I might just make it through raising my daughter without making a complete ass of myself.  (I said a COMPLETE ass of myself.  It's already too late in many respects)

    17 months old and she's getting pretty good with a fork and spoon.

   

Violence against women

Would I have given this topic as much thought if I had a son instead of a daughter?  I'd hate to think so.
   There's a lot on this subject circulating the internet right now.  And it's good that this information is getting out there.  We owe it to men like Patrick Stewart who have been fighting this fight long before it has become more mainstream.  HERE is an example of why Stewart is the most awesome Enterprise captain (actor).
   And HERE is Jackson Katz showing us why it is men's problem.  It's up to all of us to make sure the next generation is less violent towards women.
   I don't think I can say it any better than these gentlemen so please watch the above links.  They are definitely not asses.  If we follow their lead, it will go a long way to not making an ass of ourselves as well.
   MLK Jr. said it best:  "I became convinced that noncooperation with evil is as much a moral obligation as is cooperation with good"  Which means even though we're not violent against women, sitting back and letting others be violent against women means we are still part of the problem, not part of the solution.  Let's all work to be part of the solution for a better world that VB can live in.  I mean really, the world is already broken enough.  Let's try to fix a few of the problems.
   Now here's a video of VB chasing bubbles.  I love that she doesn't have a clue about things like violence against women, racism, or crimes against humanity.  I wish it could stay this way forever.

"He only picks on you because he likes you"

Right.  Now that I have a daughter, this comment doesn't seem so innocent.  In fact, it was never innocent.  It's a precursor to bad behavior which, if not corrected, can lead to the dark side.
   I didn't always realize this.  My wife has helped me to see the light.  But once you see it, it's blatantly obvious.
   Follow this link to see the experience of one parent and their reaction. (It's a quick read and well worth it)
   I think the challenge comes in making parents realize that what their sons are doing when they're 4 and 5 will shape what they do when they're 20.
   It's easy to blow it off from ages 2 to 5 because they're just so darn cute.  How could anything they do be violent or aggressive?  I myself remember picking on and making fun of girls.  And guess what, it WAS because I had a grade school crush on them.  But that's not an excuse to act like an ass.
   If you have a son, please help them be respectful of their female peers.  Help them learn how not to grow up instigating an abusive relationship with their partner.  Help them choose love, not intimidation.  Help them coose respect, not dominance.  
   In the meantime, enjoy this video of VB pointing to all the birds in her room.  You can also see it on Youtube HERE.

16 almost 17 months

So since my work is based around the typical school year, that might explain the previous 2 month hiatus.  And now I'm back... or I will try to be at least for the next couple of months.
   A lot can happen in a couple of months.  Here is just one video showing what you've been missing.

You're going to have to follow this link since blogspot doesn't seem to recognize my youtube channel.

I know; father of the year award, right?  Hopefully CPS doesn't come knocking on my door after posting this.  But my wife tells me that she has read numerous articles on how important it is to roughhouse with your child.  And after a quick google search, this is just one article that I've found.  Lots of good reasons to roughhouse here and it makes sense to me.  I'm only too happy to oblige!
   I just had a thought.  After missing a couple of months of VB, I was about to post a whole bunch of different things all at once.  Rather than do that, how about I don't take up too much of your time right now.  If I can get my act together, I'll break it up into smaller posts so as not to take up too much of your precious time.
   Until next time... (hopefully sooner than 2 months)

14 1/2 months

So I've been a little out of it lately.  Put in almost 80 hours last week.  'Course, that's not excuse for the several before that.
   First of all, there's THIS.  I love Star Wars almost as much as I love being a father.  That explains why I love all the crossover Star Wars and parenthood memes.
   And because it's been so long, here is what VB has been up to recently.

"No!  Socks first, THEN shoes!"

Whoever invented easter grass never had kids.

I like the tutu with blue jeans look.

This look of awe is how I must look every time I think of her.

My Jedi ballerina

Figured out this party favor pretty quick.

Yum... dirt!

Sad VB

Maybe it's a phase.  Maybe VB is teething.  Maybe she's getting bored of us.  Maybe she woke up this morning and we weren't there.  I don't know, but she was really sad this morning and it was really difficult to console her.  She was pretty much fussing/crying right up until she was strapped into her car seat on her way to day care.  Once there, she was fine so maybe she likes it better there than at home.
   Who knows.  It's difficult now, but at least I don't have to buy her underwear... yet.  THIS article from the Good Men Project has shown me what is in store for my future in undergarment acquisition. (or more accurately... what is NOT being sold in the stores that my daughter will probably want)  Thanks, underwear makers, for being an ass!
   Despite having a serious case of the sads this morning, VB is such a delight.  Looking through some video footage this morning, I found this which instantly cheered me up and made me smile.

And this one:

Had to post this

Saw this today and I thought this is the perfect place to share it.  While not something I would do, I wonder if this thought would ever have crossed my mind on my own.

Losing myself

The days, weeks and months since VB's arrival are all blending together.  And it's only been one year!  I can't imagine what it will be like in another 6, 16 or 60! (I hope I can be that lucky)   Here she is enjoying her birthday gift.  And I'm not trying to make any stereotypes about women working in the kitchen or anything.  It seems like every choice we make is loaded.  

Fortunately, I've got friends to pass along information like THIS and THIS which set down some pretty good rules on what to do with your daughter.  Some very good ideas here.  

   Letting her gorge herself on birthday churros is probably not a very good idea.  She was kind enough to share them with us.

   And here is that proverbial dishwasher shot that I think will end up in every parent's photo album.  I just can't get over how quickly she's changing.

   

One year old today.

Well, we've made it!  One year ago today, VB, my wife and I spent the first of many days in bed.  It's amazing to think of how our lives have changed since that day.  I write this as she spends her first birthday in daycare and both her mother and I are a little tearful that we're not all together celebrating it like we did a year ago.  Fortunately, we have Youtube and all those uploaded videos to while away the time.
   Here she is seeing her first E-card from her grandma.

And because I couldn't be more proud, here's my little Jedi becoming intimately acquainted with the sounds of a light saber.

Almost One Year Old

Hello 2013!
   The last year has gone amazingly fast and it has been won-der-ful.  VB has changed so much in the past two weeks I can't begin to explain everything new.  I'm one proud papa.
   She doesn't crawl any more.  Only walking for my dd.  She's starting to use all the sign language we've been trying to teach.  So far she's got the sign for milk, potty, and all done.  But who needs sign language when she can just point and grunt to tell us exactly what she wants.  
   Also, she has confronted stairs, wiping her own hands, drinking from a straw and discovering door stops.  A-mazing.  Can't believe how much I love her.  I took way too much video footage but here's the short reel of all the greatest moments:

    So the holidays are over... yeah... we got through it. 
Now I can concentrate on not being an ass again.  
   But now that VB is almost one year old, maybe times are changing and I need to reboot this blog and call is something else.  A friend sent me this article about how dads are made to look like big oafs in TV and advertising.  Perhaps I am just as susceptible to said advertising.  Maybe I'm not part of a minority after all.  Maybe I've spent all year whining and moaning about how the world thinks all men are morons when it comes to parenting but things aren't actually quite so bad.  
   So what should I call the next year of fatherhood if I can't gripe about not being an ass any more?