Week 18 Day 1

   Games to (not) play with your pregnant wife:  Find the Fundus. 

   Our midwife showed me how to do this and it’s pretty cool.  As the link above explains, the fundus is the top of the uterus and it gets higher and higher the further along the pregnancy progresses.  To find it, you dig your fingers into the abdomen of your wife and feel around until you come up against something that is denser.  I was being too gentle on my first attempt and the midwife encouraged me to really dig around.  You have to push down a good 2 inches or so before you feel it.  If it hurts, your partner will tell you.  A suggestion:  don’t just dig in like I did.  A couple of small test pushes goes a long way to preparing your wife for further prodding.  At first, I wasn’t sure what I was feeling.  But it slowly dawned on me that my baby was only a fraction of an inch away from my fingertips.

   First thing in the morning is not the best time to play this game as the bladder may be full.

Week 17 Day 7

   In planning for the baby’s arrival, my wife and I are trying to figure out parental leave.  By law, the United States must allow 12 weeks for both mother and father.  However, this is all unpaid.  We therefore must use vacation pay or take the time off unpaid. 

   Studies now indicate just how important bonding time is during the first 12 weeks for both the mother AND the father.  So kudos to America for giving this time to both parents.

   However….

   Not a lot of people have a full 12 weeks of vacation pay saved up and as I’ve been told again and again, our expenses will go waaaaaaay up after having a child.  So it is really impractical to take all 12 weeks.  Everything I’ve heard about the first months indicates that we really “aren’t going to get much sleep” and we’re going to be “tired all the time”.  Other people seem to take delight in telling us this. Thanks.  But we’re aware of this and know we’re going to be so tired during these 12 weeks that I’m not sure how much use we’d actually be at work. 

   So let’s compare.  Here is a PDF of a study showing the parental leave of 21 developed countries.  It’s a little wordy but if you skim down a few pages you’ll get some informative graphs.

   And I just went to Wikipedia and am now ashamed and appalled at the lack of paid support in the USA.  Assuming this is accurate (it is after all Wikipedia) the United States is the ONLY country listed to NOT give some financial support to parents.  This includes the less wealthy countries in Africa and Asia.  Is this upsetting to anyone else?

   And an article in USA Today adds a more personal touch.

   Way to be an ass, America.

Week 17 Day 6

Weeks 7 through 17!

Ok.  I know everybody else does this.  But that shouldn't keep me from doing it, too.
   Here's what the last 10 weeks look like for us!  It's real easy to forget just how drastic the changes are when we live with it every day.  And this just shows the changes on the outside.  Imagine what has to happen on the inside in order for the body to allow something like this to happen.
  This is a pretty amazing thing.  And again I ask "What are we doing?!"

Week 17 Day 5

   It’s our 11 year anniversary and we just got back from Ashland to see some great theatre at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival.  And the city of Ashland is awe-some.  We again ate at our favorite restaurant, Tabu, where we.. ahem, shared a glass of wine.  Apparently, at this point in the pregnancy, a glass of wine once a month, week or even a day does not hurt the growing fetus.  (As stated in this article.)  I was completely unaware of this and was immensely scared that should even an ounce of alcohol touch the lips of my wife, our baby would instantly develop some horrible deformation like 3 eyes or 17 tails. (That would actually be kind of cool).

   Anyway, this appears to be common knowledge outside the good ol’ US of A.  So I find that among this, and many other things (like cesarean sections and home births), we are slightly behind the curve.  I find myself wondering again why this is.  I think my wife summed it up best when she said, “We are living in a country that loves its family values but doesn’t value its families.”  Ouch.  To the point and absolutely correct in my opinion.

   But I digress.  What I originally was going to say is that in my previous declarations to forego alcohol in solidarity with my wife… I was apparently being an ass.  Cheers!

Week 17 Day 1

   The kid is already like me.  It was poking my wife in the side repeatedly at work yesterday.  Of course, when I do it it’s metaphorical.

   This is the first time she noticed this happening during the day.  Usually if she’s felt anything so far, it’s been during the night.  The baby’s been moving throughout, but according to the pregnancy app on my phone, it now weighs 7 ounces and is about 7 inches from head to foot, so it’s finally getting big enough to notice.  As my wife said, “It’s cute now but wait until it starts doing Tae-Kwon-Do in there.”

   And I’m having more frequent moments of “What the hell are we doing?!”  or “How many ways will I screw up our kid?”

   But then I calm myself by watching videos of babies laughing.  Like this one.  I’m not sure what chemical change happens in my body but videos like these have a calming effect.  I can only imagine the effect it will have when it is my own baby.

Week 16 day 5

   The midwife heard my baby’s heartbeat yesterday.  I tried to use the fetoscope but could hardly hear my wife’s heartbeat let alone the baby’s.  And I know she has one so I’ll just have to trust the midwife. 

   This is pretty exciting.  I don’t really show my excitement much, except when I’m watching Starwars (episodes 4, 5 & 6)  I probably didn’t do much more than smile reaaal big yesterday.  But I think I may have been doing somersaults in my brain. 

   Except for the crib, which we will be borrowing from friends, the nursery is pretty much set up.  Here’s a shot:

Note the James Hance Winnie the Pooh/Starwars mashup artwork.  If my child doesn’t like Starwars I may have to pull a Luke at the end of Empire Strikes Back. “Noooooooooo!”  And then heave a big sigh and just support my child and whatever interests they develop.  Otherwise, I’d be an ass if I forced something even as cool as Starwars on my child.

Week 16 day 3

   We all suffer from irrational fears.  I’m always paranoid that I’m driving on a flat tire, for example.  I will also jump if surprised by snakes & spiders (don’t worry, no actual pics of them here).   The Japanese Goblin Shark gives me nightmares (this one is the real thing).  But after that first second of surprise passes, I’m typically able to deal with most of these issues.  And I will never swim in waters where goblin sharks exist.

   This makes me the best candidate to take care of any stray critters in our household.  Fortunately, we haven’t had to deal with snakes, but lots of spiders take up residence here.  I’m perfectly happy to do this.  In fact, very little makes me feel manlier than gallantly protecting the household from these mostly benign denizens.

   Moths are harder to track down and catch, but I’m happy to take care of them, too.

   These are all things that I can exert some control over.  The biggest fears I have are things that I know I will have no control over.  Watching my wife struggle with discomfort is a great example.  And as hard a time I am having with that, I can only image what it will be like for my child.  Life would be so much easier if we could only have problems that we know how to deal with.  Less opportunities for feeling like an ass, too.