???? 4 Months +

   I’ve lost track of weeks.  So I’m going to stop trying.  Von Bebe is 4 months, 4 days old. 

   Starting today, I am a full time stay-at-home-dad (SAHD) for about 3 months.  My job rocks.  I work for a college so I already get summers off, and I was able to split my FMLA leave so I get another month off now.  This works out really great because my wife goes back full time starting tomorrow. 

   However, this puts the two of us in an awkward position.  Whereas I am excited to spend the days with my daughter, my wife is really struggling with going back full time.  For about half a second, we actually considered the option of her quitting to permanently be a stay-at-home-mom.  But this would be difficult as we’ve gotten really used to the double income.  Plus, as difficult as it is, we both really love our jobs.  The work is very satisfying and we do really cool stuff!  I don’t think either one of us would last very long as stay-at-home-parents. 

   Despite how awesome my job is, it is the nature of my work to keep me away in the evenings for 2 weeks at a time four times throughout the year.  Which is why there has been very little from me over the last week.  Those weeks were already hard.  Now that I have a daughter along with a perfect wife, they seem agonizing.  I’m already trying to figure out what I’m going to say to her when I’m working over Halloween and can’t go trick or treating with her.

   This being a father thing is difficult.  And it is impossible to do it without being as ass at one time or another.

   Oh, and I totally nicked her with nail clippers today.  Yeah.  That sucked, too.  And my wife blames me for teaching her to spit.  

Week 17 Day 7

   In planning for the baby’s arrival, my wife and I are trying to figure out parental leave.  By law, the United States must allow 12 weeks for both mother and father.  However, this is all unpaid.  We therefore must use vacation pay or take the time off unpaid. 

   Studies now indicate just how important bonding time is during the first 12 weeks for both the mother AND the father.  So kudos to America for giving this time to both parents.

   However….

   Not a lot of people have a full 12 weeks of vacation pay saved up and as I’ve been told again and again, our expenses will go waaaaaaay up after having a child.  So it is really impractical to take all 12 weeks.  Everything I’ve heard about the first months indicates that we really “aren’t going to get much sleep” and we’re going to be “tired all the time”.  Other people seem to take delight in telling us this. Thanks.  But we’re aware of this and know we’re going to be so tired during these 12 weeks that I’m not sure how much use we’d actually be at work. 

   So let’s compare.  Here is a PDF of a study showing the parental leave of 21 developed countries.  It’s a little wordy but if you skim down a few pages you’ll get some informative graphs.

   And I just went to Wikipedia and am now ashamed and appalled at the lack of paid support in the USA.  Assuming this is accurate (it is after all Wikipedia) the United States is the ONLY country listed to NOT give some financial support to parents.  This includes the less wealthy countries in Africa and Asia.  Is this upsetting to anyone else?

   And an article in USA Today adds a more personal touch.

   Way to be an ass, America.