Week 21 Day 1

   Since I’m still kind of on this rant, I’d just like to add that we REALLY love the comments that go something like this: “Enjoy it now while you can.”  Or “Get all the sleep you can now because you won’t get any once the baby is born.”

   Let’s examine these statements shall we?  “Enjoy it now while you can”?  This insinuates that we haven’t been enjoying it so we’d better start.  (Never mind that we’ve been married for 11 glorious years and are ready to make our already awesome family plus one.) 

   Or maybe a statement like this suggests that once the baby is here we’re never going to enjoy anything again for the rest of our lives.  If this were the case, why didn’t the human race become extinct long ago?  I know people mean well when they say things like this, but I really just feel sad for them because they are either lying through their teeth or they missed something vital.  (I say that now)

   And get all our sleep now?  What, can I bank it?  If I sleep for 72 straight hours, can I save it for when I really need it?  No?  I didn’t think so.  And last time I checked, I’m still employed and this employment is responsible for the standard of living that we’ve become accustomed to.

   I don’t think I will be able to repeat this enough:  The only thing we know is that we don’t know how much our lives will change.  We know we’re going to get tired.  We know that this is going to be hard.  We know that once we become parents, we will never cease to be parents.  And we don’t know just how intense all of these things will be. 

   But all you existing parents out there:  do you really have to rub it in?  I’m trying real hard not to be an ass but you’re not making it any easier on me. 

   I hope when the shoe is on the other foot (ours) we can find something else to say to our pregnant friends/family/children thus breaking the circle of assyness.

Week 20 Day 5

   Questions she/we find irritating:

*What’s the sex of the baby?

*How are you feeling?

*When is the due date?

*Have you thought about names?

Instead, we would prefer these questions:

*Are you planning to find out the sex? 

   Please note: sex and gender are not the same.  Ultrasounds are still a relatively recent development.  (And not 100% accurate)  Why do people insist on knowing the sex of their baby when their parents, grandparents and thousands of years of ancestors didn’t know?

*Is it a good or a bad day? 

   Because really, what is a pregnant woman supposed to say when you ask her how she’s feeling?  “um.. I don’t know… PREGNANT?”  “Like my insides are getting pushed all around”  “Like my cartilage is turning to jell-o in order to loosen everything up to give birth.”

*How far along is the baby? 

   The baby will come when it is darn good and ready.  So the due date is a deceptive term.  It’s an estimate.  We don’t know the due date.  Nobody does.  But we do know how long since conception.

*No alternative to the names question. 

   Yes.  Of course we’ve thought about names.  We’re having a baby for goodness sake!  We’re planning for the future.  How could we NOT think about names.  You’ll find out what its name is when you meet it.

My feelings coincide with my partner’s for the most part.  I will never truly know what it’s like to support another living being inside my own body.  At least not until the earth gets invaded by some parasitic alien life form.  But even then, I bet it will be different.  And because of this I will never truly understand her reaction to the question “How are you feeling?”  I think I can understand it, but I will never understand it.  To say I do makes me an ass.