11 Weeks 4 days old

I have heard the term “Attachment Parenting” before and have heard it used in both the positive and negative sense.  Other terms like codependence, imprisonment, bonded, emotionally engaged also come to mind.  Dr. Sears coined the phrase. (or so Wikipedia tells me)  And there are a lot of opinions for and against.  (See here)

   After reading the Wikipedia entry I’ve decided this is pretty much already what we are doing.  Wearing the baby.  Being attentive to her needs.  Cosleeping.  Etc.  But I’m not sure how much of this I learned from books or how much I’ve just agreed to as I go along for the ride.  But it seems like a lot of this is common sense.  The baby is crying because she is uncomfortable.  She is uncomfortable because she needs something.  Let’s figure out what it is. 

   At this point, that seems ok because we are all in survival mode.  But eventually, (when she learns to walk, talk and crush dreams) she’ll be manipulating us at some level to get not only what she needs, but also what she wants.  And as we all know,You Don’t Always Get What You Want.

   A lot of arguments against this type of childrearing says that it is too restrictive.  It puts women back in the kitchen barefoot.  It sets back women’s rights.  I guess my responses to this would be “Where are the husbands/partners?”  or “If you CHOSE to have a child, I guess you should accept the responsibility… even if it is more demanding than you thought.”  That’s life, right?  Time to nut up and not be an ass. (I can’t believe I just used that phrase)

Here’s 10 Mb of cuteness.

11 Weeks Old

Based on my hair in this photo, one can ascertain at least 2 things:  I need a haircut and my personal hygiene has flown out the window.

We went to a wedding a week ago which was Von Bebe’s first weekend outing.  First night in a hotel.  First 4 hour long car drive.  First Taco Del Mar.  No, we did not feed her a mondo burrito.

   Not being an ass means caring less about how I am perceived in public.  If I were more concerned about getting drool on my jacket or poop on my sleeves, I might be an ass.  But having a new child sure puts things in perspective and something that I might have cringed at in the past is now a day to day regularity.  I do things without hesitation that I thought would have given me pause.  If my daughter needs to be changed or burped, I do it.  No matter where I am or who is around, her needs come first. 

   Bodily fluids don’t faze me… as long as they’re hers.

   Enjoy her wedding shorts.  

10 weeks and 5 days old

THIS is why we had a home birth...

10 Weeks Old (or so)

Here’s how not to be an ass:  Interact with your 10 week old baby.

   I’m amazed at just how quickly she changes and how engaged she is.  As seen here, Von Bebe has gotten quite adept at tracking things with her eyes.  Pretty darn cool.

I'm trying really hard not to blink, but I can't help thinking that I'm going to miss something.

9 Weeks 2 Days old

I had an epiphany while bottle feeding my daughter today.  And I totally figured out how to feed her without being an ass.  It only took me three weeks.  That’s assuming we didn’t experience a fluke today.  Which is entirely possible.

   Anyway, up until now my wife has been going to work in the mornings and the only way I’ve been able to feed my daughter is a half an ounce at a time spread out over 2 hours or so.  This pretty much ate up most of my mornings.

   Fortunately for the internet and the 21^st century, there are lots of resources for bottle feeding at the same time as breastfeeding.  I had no idea that this could be so difficult.  I always figured you just stick the bottle nipple in the baby and she gets filled up like a car.  Silly me.

  Here is some of what I learned.  Feed the baby in an upright position with the bottle as horizontal as possible.  Unlike the breast, the bottle uses gravity and the milk can just pour out.  Apparently, too much of this and the baby might get used to not having to work for the milk making it harder to breast feed. 

   Oh, and here’s a no brainer.  The baby likes to breathe between bites.  Novel concept I know, but my baby is not my Prius.  So as much as I’d like to just upend the bottle and have done with it, I actually have to pay attention to my daughter.  (What!  You mean I actually have to be an engaged parent already?!)  When she stops sucking, I tip the bottle down to give her a break.  Being an attentive feeder we were able to get through 2 ounces or more in only about 15 minutes.

   Thinking about it now makes me wonder why I didn’t figure this out before.  Just being an ass, I suppose.

   And for those of you who only come here for pictures of my daughter, here you go.  This is her goal post nap time position.

8 Weeks 4 Days Old

I can try not to be an ass when it comes to breastfeeding/bottle feeding. But it won’t matter.  Somehow, some way I will end up being an ass because if the baby is breastfed, it will inevitably need to take breast milk from the bottle and that’s where things go awry.

  This is a hard transition.  About two weeks before my wife started going back to work I tried giving Von Bebe a bottle on a couple different occasions.  By the way, this works best if the wife or milk-giver is out of the house.  The baby knows when the real thing is near by and let’s face it, if you can get your steak on a plate with a knife and fork knowing they are in the kitchen, why would you blend it into a paste and squeeze it out of a bottle?

    So there’s that struggle. Then there’s the struggle of watching your wife break down because someone else is nourishing her child.  This is something which up until now only she could do so I think I can see how this could be so traumatic.  I still wasn’t prepared for the tears, however.

   Then there’s the breast pump…  My wife said that if Darth Vader and Audrey II (from Little Shop of Horrors) were to fall in love and have a baby, it would look something like this.

The Darth Vader reference comes from the sound it makes.  It is eerily mechanical.  Fortunately for me, we are at a point where she only pumps at work.  But saying that is just one more way to point out my being an ass.

   And can someone please tell me just how you are supposed to subtly point out leaky boobs to your wife without sounding snarky or sarcastic?  Every time I try, I can tell that I’ve misspoken by the expression on her face.  But then I imagine peeing my pants and can’t think of a way for someone to tell me without feeling devastatingly embarrassed.  So maybe there’s just no way around this one.

   But it’s all absolutely worth it for this.

8 Weeks Old

We had our- er... Von Bebe's hearing test a week ago.  I called to make the appointment and the first question I got asked was 

“…And are you testing because she failed the test at the hospital?”  After I picked my jaw up off the floor I finally found the words to tell the woman on the other end of the line that Von Bebe was the product of a home birth.  I could imagine her shaking her head on the other end of the line as she told me that it’s really much harder to test when they’re that old.

   So I guess it’s just too bad that she passed the test with flying colors after about 5 minutes.  We showed up at 8 am.  She was asleep and pretty much stayed asleep throughout the entire test.

   Actually, it was pretty cool.  They stuck 3 electrodes on her and plastic earphones that completely covered her ears.  The electrodes actually measured her brainwaves based on what sounds they were piping into the ear phones.  And this is why it only works if babies are sleeping and their eyes are closed.  I guess if they are awake and their eyes are open then the brain is receiving too many stimuli to measure.

   But then I have to wonder is all of this really necessary to test her hearing?  Because I can easily see her startle when the dogs bark.  It seems to me that she can hear just fine.  But for some reason, if we don’t get this test done, the state sends me a letter suggesting I should be ashamed for not having had the test within the first week of my daughter’s life.  Because I didn’t have better things to do with my time… especially since she has been responding to multiple auditory stimuli (ie. Loud noises) around the house just fine for the last several weeks. 

   Whatever.  I guess this is yet one more thing that makes me an ass.

   But if you ask me, she seems to be responding just fine.