16 Weeks 5 Days old

   Just when I thought everything was going so well with the bottle, Von Bebe and I had a bad day.  She only had a few drops all morning.  And of course, this on the day that we have an outing to try out some new baby wearing gear.  But that’s another blog entry.

   Bottle feeding and breast feeding are two totally different things.  I, like most Americans, grew up in a society where breast feeding is a pretty taboo thing.  Hopefully, that is changing.  There are so many expectations about breasts and breastfeeding that men have basically been set up to feel inadequate and unprepared for many months after the birth of their child.  But don’t take my word for it.  Check it out here.  Thanks, Hollywood, for making me feel like an ass.

   Obviously, breastfeeding is something that I will never have a chance to experience myself.  I see the connection between my wife and daughter when it is feeding time and can’t help but get a little jealous.  (Of both child AND mother) 

   Not to mention, how awesome would it be to just flip up my shirt when my daughter is hungry.  It would save so much time!  As it is, I have to turn on the sink to get hot tap water, get a bottle out of the fridge (assuming I’ve already prepared a bottle!) and warm up the bottle.  By this time, my daughter could be so upset that she’s not really interested in eating any more.  I’ve gotten pretty good at anticipating feeding times.  But when the routine gets switched up on us, I’m lost.

   As my wife just pointed out, I may have neglected to mention the commitment and sacrifice required by BOTH partners in our endeavor to solely breastfeed for at least 6 months.  (What?  It’s not just about me?)  I’m not the one who has to flip out my taboo body part to nourish our child.  I’m not the one who has to pump when I’m at work.  And I’m not the one who is waking up 2 hours every night. 

   Why do it?  Lots of studies show the importance of breastfeeding.  Many good reasons here.  And it seems there is some benefit to delaying solids until 6 months as it says here.  But then when I look for more information online I find this which says we may harm our baby if we only breastfeed for 6 months.  Can’t win either way.  I guess we’ll just have to use our instincts.

   But as for the bottle feeding, it gets better.  Some days are easy.  Most are not.  Every day is worth it… for this.

8 Weeks 4 Days Old

I can try not to be an ass when it comes to breastfeeding/bottle feeding. But it won’t matter.  Somehow, some way I will end up being an ass because if the baby is breastfed, it will inevitably need to take breast milk from the bottle and that’s where things go awry.

  This is a hard transition.  About two weeks before my wife started going back to work I tried giving Von Bebe a bottle on a couple different occasions.  By the way, this works best if the wife or milk-giver is out of the house.  The baby knows when the real thing is near by and let’s face it, if you can get your steak on a plate with a knife and fork knowing they are in the kitchen, why would you blend it into a paste and squeeze it out of a bottle?

    So there’s that struggle. Then there’s the struggle of watching your wife break down because someone else is nourishing her child.  This is something which up until now only she could do so I think I can see how this could be so traumatic.  I still wasn’t prepared for the tears, however.

   Then there’s the breast pump…  My wife said that if Darth Vader and Audrey II (from Little Shop of Horrors) were to fall in love and have a baby, it would look something like this.

The Darth Vader reference comes from the sound it makes.  It is eerily mechanical.  Fortunately for me, we are at a point where she only pumps at work.  But saying that is just one more way to point out my being an ass.

   And can someone please tell me just how you are supposed to subtly point out leaky boobs to your wife without sounding snarky or sarcastic?  Every time I try, I can tell that I’ve misspoken by the expression on her face.  But then I imagine peeing my pants and can’t think of a way for someone to tell me without feeling devastatingly embarrassed.  So maybe there’s just no way around this one.

   But it’s all absolutely worth it for this.