Teething?

It's been a rough couple of days although you wouldn't know it from looking at this video:

VB has been home from daycare for two days now.  My wife has been taking most of the responsibility by taking time off work to be at home.
   VB was running a high fever Sunday night and wakes up pretty miserable with a hacking cough that scares me into thinking she's going to vomit all over the world.  Every hack I squint my eyes dreading what might come up.  So far, though, she's managed to calm back down before it gets to that point.
   The temperature is normal now and based on the stuffy nose, runny stool and jamming her fist down the back of her throat, I am assuming that those 2-year molars are the cause of all our torment.  I looked in there with a flashlight today but sadly, there is no sign of enamel.  I think this means we have a long way to go.  Ibuprofen to the rescue!  She reliably perks back up for a few hours after administering a dose.  Maybe I'll try to get a video of her waking up so we can compare and contrast.
   I love that the ball swishes right through her legs at the end of this video.

Almost 2!

So I decided something a while back.  I decided that a good way to not be an ass is to stop feeling guilty about not writing any blog entries in what feels like forever.  I decided that if I forced myself to spend 15-30 extra minutes each day writing something here, that's 15-30 minutes less time that I could be spending with my daughter and/or wife.  So sorry about your luck... whoever you are.
   That said, here I am now writing at 9:30pm on a Sunday night.  Both wife and daughter are asleep and I probably should be, too.  But I finally thought it would be a good time to say something here.  Especially now that VonBebe is almost 2 YEARS OLD!  (in 4 days)  Seriously, how did that even happen?
   As much as I wanted to keep up with regular entries, I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  I made lots of excuses for myself but in the end, I just chose other priorities above this.
   And here are some of those priorities:

Fatherhood has been the best thing ever to happen to me and I think it suits me well.  That and I helped make a pretty stinkin' cute kid.

Almost19 months old

I was really hoping to write more posts this summer.  But things got away from me as they usually do for parents.
   I just returned home from my 20 year high school reunion where a classmate told me that he regularly read my blog back when VB was still in Utero.  This alone is enough to motivate me to write more.  When someone else asked about the title of the blog, I had a hard time articulating who the "ass" is in the title.  I spouted something about douchey dads or inattentive fathers.  Well after giving it some thought I developed some specific ideas as to what kind of dad might be an "ass".  Here they are... Jeff Foxworthy style:

• If you spank your kid, you might be an ass
• If you refuse to read pregnancy books or child rearing books, you might be an ass
• If you've never even heard of Dr. Sears, you might be an ass
• If you refuse to change diapers, you might be an ass
• If you won't push a stroller because it's not manly, you might be an ass
• If you won't let your finger and toe nails get painted, you might be an ass
• If you won't put a clip or barrette in your hair, you might be an ass
• If you were not in the same room when your baby was born, you might be an ass
• If you don't know what a barrette is, you might be an ass
• If you don't take time off work to help your partner with your new child, you might be an ass
• If you only ever give your daughter pink, you might be an ass
• If you only ever give your son blue, you might be an ass
• If you EVER call your pregnant wife fat, you might be an ass
• If you spend too much time on your smart phone, you might be an ass

This is my opinion only.  I fully realize that I have some close family and friends who fall into some of these categories.  I also realize that times are different today than they were 50 or even 20 years ago.  I find myself victim to some of the above comments as well.  (It's really hard to tear away the smart phone sometimes)  I guess I'm saying that if you fall short in just a couple of the above points, you're probably not an ass.  If you identify with every single one, you are most decidedly an ass.  But if that's the case, you're probably not reading my blog. (that would fall under the "refuse to read" point)

   Sadly, I think the guys who are asses don't realize what they're missing.  And I don't know how to get them to understand.

   Feel free to add more points.

Meanwhile, here's my daughter being awesome....

And me trying not to be an ass...

17 Months

We just spent our first night without mom and it was pretty... successful.  There was one long period where VB just couldn't get comfy.  But aside from that, I think we both actually got enough sleep.  
   Here's an earlier shot of her in her own bed.  Mind you, she still spent most of the night in my and my wife's bed.  Co-sleeping FTW.

I think mom was way more worried than either VB or myself.  I'm glad it's only for one night, though.

   So... I use Pinterest.  (Jumped on that bandwagon kind of late actually)  And it's pretty awesome.  I have one board where I post everything that has to do with VB.  Any time there's an article on FB or the interwebs that I find relevant, I pin it.  The board is already quite full.  But there's nothing like a little mass marketed mania to give me pause.  

   While all this information is overwhelming, I take great comfort in the communal knowledge that I have gained with these resources.  A big one that has had me more than a little scared is knowing when and actually having the sex talk with my daughter.  I'm still a ways off, yet, but spending our first night alone is cake next to having this conversation.  Fortunately, some of my pinned resources will make it easier.  Like THIS, for instance.  Armed with this information and more, I might just make it through raising my daughter without making a complete ass of myself.  (I said a COMPLETE ass of myself.  It's already too late in many respects)

    17 months old and she's getting pretty good with a fork and spoon.

   

Violence against women

Would I have given this topic as much thought if I had a son instead of a daughter?  I'd hate to think so.
   There's a lot on this subject circulating the internet right now.  And it's good that this information is getting out there.  We owe it to men like Patrick Stewart who have been fighting this fight long before it has become more mainstream.  HERE is an example of why Stewart is the most awesome Enterprise captain (actor).
   And HERE is Jackson Katz showing us why it is men's problem.  It's up to all of us to make sure the next generation is less violent towards women.
   I don't think I can say it any better than these gentlemen so please watch the above links.  They are definitely not asses.  If we follow their lead, it will go a long way to not making an ass of ourselves as well.
   MLK Jr. said it best:  "I became convinced that noncooperation with evil is as much a moral obligation as is cooperation with good"  Which means even though we're not violent against women, sitting back and letting others be violent against women means we are still part of the problem, not part of the solution.  Let's all work to be part of the solution for a better world that VB can live in.  I mean really, the world is already broken enough.  Let's try to fix a few of the problems.
   Now here's a video of VB chasing bubbles.  I love that she doesn't have a clue about things like violence against women, racism, or crimes against humanity.  I wish it could stay this way forever.

"He only picks on you because he likes you"

Right.  Now that I have a daughter, this comment doesn't seem so innocent.  In fact, it was never innocent.  It's a precursor to bad behavior which, if not corrected, can lead to the dark side.
   I didn't always realize this.  My wife has helped me to see the light.  But once you see it, it's blatantly obvious.
   Follow this link to see the experience of one parent and their reaction. (It's a quick read and well worth it)
   I think the challenge comes in making parents realize that what their sons are doing when they're 4 and 5 will shape what they do when they're 20.
   It's easy to blow it off from ages 2 to 5 because they're just so darn cute.  How could anything they do be violent or aggressive?  I myself remember picking on and making fun of girls.  And guess what, it WAS because I had a grade school crush on them.  But that's not an excuse to act like an ass.
   If you have a son, please help them be respectful of their female peers.  Help them learn how not to grow up instigating an abusive relationship with their partner.  Help them choose love, not intimidation.  Help them coose respect, not dominance.  
   In the meantime, enjoy this video of VB pointing to all the birds in her room.  You can also see it on Youtube HERE.

16 almost 17 months

So since my work is based around the typical school year, that might explain the previous 2 month hiatus.  And now I'm back... or I will try to be at least for the next couple of months.
   A lot can happen in a couple of months.  Here is just one video showing what you've been missing.

You're going to have to follow this link since blogspot doesn't seem to recognize my youtube channel.

I know; father of the year award, right?  Hopefully CPS doesn't come knocking on my door after posting this.  But my wife tells me that she has read numerous articles on how important it is to roughhouse with your child.  And after a quick google search, this is just one article that I've found.  Lots of good reasons to roughhouse here and it makes sense to me.  I'm only too happy to oblige!
   I just had a thought.  After missing a couple of months of VB, I was about to post a whole bunch of different things all at once.  Rather than do that, how about I don't take up too much of your time right now.  If I can get my act together, I'll break it up into smaller posts so as not to take up too much of your precious time.
   Until next time... (hopefully sooner than 2 months)