Week 21 Day 1

   Since I’m still kind of on this rant, I’d just like to add that we REALLY love the comments that go something like this: “Enjoy it now while you can.”  Or “Get all the sleep you can now because you won’t get any once the baby is born.”

   Let’s examine these statements shall we?  “Enjoy it now while you can”?  This insinuates that we haven’t been enjoying it so we’d better start.  (Never mind that we’ve been married for 11 glorious years and are ready to make our already awesome family plus one.) 

   Or maybe a statement like this suggests that once the baby is here we’re never going to enjoy anything again for the rest of our lives.  If this were the case, why didn’t the human race become extinct long ago?  I know people mean well when they say things like this, but I really just feel sad for them because they are either lying through their teeth or they missed something vital.  (I say that now)

   And get all our sleep now?  What, can I bank it?  If I sleep for 72 straight hours, can I save it for when I really need it?  No?  I didn’t think so.  And last time I checked, I’m still employed and this employment is responsible for the standard of living that we’ve become accustomed to.

   I don’t think I will be able to repeat this enough:  The only thing we know is that we don’t know how much our lives will change.  We know we’re going to get tired.  We know that this is going to be hard.  We know that once we become parents, we will never cease to be parents.  And we don’t know just how intense all of these things will be. 

   But all you existing parents out there:  do you really have to rub it in?  I’m trying real hard not to be an ass but you’re not making it any easier on me. 

   I hope when the shoe is on the other foot (ours) we can find something else to say to our pregnant friends/family/children thus breaking the circle of assyness.

Week 20 Day 5

   Questions she/we find irritating:

*What’s the sex of the baby?

*How are you feeling?

*When is the due date?

*Have you thought about names?

Instead, we would prefer these questions:

*Are you planning to find out the sex? 

   Please note: sex and gender are not the same.  Ultrasounds are still a relatively recent development.  (And not 100% accurate)  Why do people insist on knowing the sex of their baby when their parents, grandparents and thousands of years of ancestors didn’t know?

*Is it a good or a bad day? 

   Because really, what is a pregnant woman supposed to say when you ask her how she’s feeling?  “um.. I don’t know… PREGNANT?”  “Like my insides are getting pushed all around”  “Like my cartilage is turning to jell-o in order to loosen everything up to give birth.”

*How far along is the baby? 

   The baby will come when it is darn good and ready.  So the due date is a deceptive term.  It’s an estimate.  We don’t know the due date.  Nobody does.  But we do know how long since conception.

*No alternative to the names question. 

   Yes.  Of course we’ve thought about names.  We’re having a baby for goodness sake!  We’re planning for the future.  How could we NOT think about names.  You’ll find out what its name is when you meet it.

My feelings coincide with my partner’s for the most part.  I will never truly know what it’s like to support another living being inside my own body.  At least not until the earth gets invaded by some parasitic alien life form.  But even then, I bet it will be different.  And because of this I will never truly understand her reaction to the question “How are you feeling?”  I think I can understand it, but I will never understand it.  To say I do makes me an ass.

Week 20 Day 3

   Pregnancy game #3!  Paddy-cake with the baby. 

   Now we not only feel the little slugger, but we can see the movement when my wife is lying still.  When this happens we both giggle hysterically.  And since the baby can now hear this reaction from us, we are probably already conditioning it to continue moving more persistently to get a reaction.

   The only time we are able to notice this, of course, is at night when we are about to go to bed.  Not the best time for the baby to wake up since we are trying to go to sleep.  And since there’s still 4 ½ months to go, I imagine this will get very old very quickly.  Well… At least for my partner it will get old.  I think it could entertain me for hours.

  Which led her to respond with “You might call it paddy-cake with the baby, I call it being double-teamed.”  I could blame the baby but that would make me an ass.

   

Week 20 Day 1

   Halfway check-in point.

   I had another “what the heck are we doing moment” yesterday.  In 20 weeks we’re going to have a little one.  Yikes.

   So I’m going to probably ramble here a bit.

   I’ve started going back to work so the summer is over (for me).  I finished all the projects I set out to do for the summer.  The nursery is pretty much set up.  We’re feeling a bit impatient, now, but I know we will value the next few months since they will be our last months to ourselves.  Without the new addition, that is.

   I would say that I’ve hit a bit of a wall when it comes to not being an ass during this momentous event.  I haven’t been reading or posting as much.  It is more difficult to muster up the energy to stay positive and cheery.  That could be because I’m starting up work again, but I have a gut feeling there is something going on in addition to that.

   Then again, it could just be the natural ebbs and flows of emotions that we all feel accentuated by the hormones of my partner (and probably myself).  The chemical/physical changes that male partners experience during pregnancies are still largely unknown.  I will use this as an excuse.

   But due to my wonderful partner’s urging, I’ve been reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.  Lots of good information here.  But I would caution you to wait until after breakfast before reading any section on bowel movements and meconium consistencies.

   Things are looking great and here’s to another flawless 20 weeks.

   Come on, second wind!  Don’t fail me now!

Week 19 Day 3

   Game #2 to play with your pregnant wife:  Hold up the belly.

Only I think she really appreciates this one.  After all, she holds it up 24/7 and breathes a huge sigh of relief when I do this. 

   So what I do is just lift her stomach using both of my hands spread along the underside of the baby bulge.  It is surprisingly heavy and substantial.  And I am very thankful that I don’t have to hold this extra weight in front of me at all times.  I imagine that I would if I could because I see just how tired it makes her and I’d like to do anything I can to alleviate her stress (both physical and psychological). 

   Then I could be like the aliens in the Alien Nation series that was on in the late 80s early 90s.  I was going to post a link to a youtube video here but what I found is far more disturbing than I even remember.  (It might be the mullets)  Oh what the heck, here it is. 

   That show was wacky, but fairly open minded and progressive when it comes to sex roles in our society.  Definitely not assy.

   As for me holding up my wife’s stomach, I’ll leave that up to her as to whether it makes me an ass or not.

Week 19 Day 1

   The baby is a kickpuncher.  Apparently it can really do a number.  According to my wife, it feels like this kind of number.  Which I guess isn’t surprising since it looks something like this:  (Look!  It has eyebrows!)  And brain cells are growing by 100,000 every second!

   We’re going to wait to find out the sex of the baby which is why I keep referring to it as “it”.  There are very few real “surprises” in this world and this is one of them.  (My wife’s words and very accurate I think)  I’ve heard stories of couples wanting to keep it a secret, went in for an ultrasound and the technician spilled the beans.  So we’re not getting an ultrasound either.  Plus the effects of ultrasounds on a developing fetus are still largely unknown.

   Sometimes the best way to keep from being an ass is to do nothing at all!

Week 18 Day 5

   The baby is moving quite a bit now and my wife can feel it regularly.  I’ve felt it too.  At first I couldn’t tell if it was just the pulse in my hand but the little guy/gal was really moving around today.  This is an amazing and wonderful experience. 

   Now that we’re in week 18 my phone app tells me the baby is 7.8 inches long and weighs between 7.1 and 8.5 ounces.  So according to the list I posted back in week 10, it is roughly the size of safety goggles.  I may have to revise this list at some point to make the weights more accurate.

   Feeling the fetus move is a very humbling, joyous and inspiring event.  I can only imagine the feeling of another living entity inside of you.  Completely dependent on you for everything yet oblivious to what lies beyond for another 20 weeks or so.

   Truly amazing and not assy at all.