17 Days Old

Act V (The final installment)

   Having a home birth was not an option that even entered my mind until my wife brought it up months ago.  But I could not imagine doing it any other way.  We were fortunate.  Everything went exactly according to plan (except for the birth pool) and we were able to bring our baby into the world in the comfort of our own home. 

   I’m glad there are hospitals and procedures to save the lives of mothers and infants when necessary.  But after hearing the birth stories that take place in hospitals versus those taking place at home and witnessing my child being brought into the world under our roof, I am confused as to why more people aren’t informed and educated about the possibilities of home birth.

   Days after Von Bebe’s birth, our midwife informed us of the procedures that likely would have taken place had we chosen or ended up with a hospital birth.  The labor took so long and the contractions never got closer together than 3 or 4 minutes so it would have been classified as non-progressing and Pitocin would have been administered.  A C-section possibly could have resulted due to the length of labor.  Also, the baby was crowning for so long that an episiotomy would most likely have been done requiring at the very least stitches if not more intervention.

   It took a long time.  But our baby was born at home, drug free and only a minor second degree tear requiring NO stitches.  We were in our own bed within 10 minutes after the birth and she was kept warm lying on top of my wife giving them the chance to bond from the very beginning.

   No interventions took place.  No drugs.  No monitors making beeping noises.  No hands poking and prodding where they weren’t welcome.  No one telling us what we could or could not do.  No one forcing my wife into uncomfortable positions.

   In short, we delivered our baby daughter in our own home and I will never forget it.

15 Days Old

Act IV

   A few minutes after the birth, the midwives helped us into our bed. We just glowed holding our brand new baby daughter.   About an hour later, the placenta was birthed and left in a metal bowl for us to admire.  It was still attached to our baby at this point.  One thing I don’t really understand in hospital births is how quickly they cut the cord after the birth. 

   It was good to see the organ that served as the continual link and filter between my wife and our daughter.  I couldn’t believe how beautiful it looked.  The colors were so vivid with life sustaining veins and arteries adding exquisite texture over the entire surface.  Am I lying?

And the cord was tough to cut.  I’m so glad I got the chance to do it.

   Time moves in funky ways at this point.  I don’t know how long we were in our bed before my wife mentioned needing something to eat.  It didn’t feel long, but I went out to defrost some frozen quiches for us only to find that our house had been completely altered.  Well… not altered, but cleaned.  While in our bedroom we had heard the midwives bustling about in the house but didn’t really think anything of it.  I walked into a house for which there was almost no sign of a birth having taken place.  The pool had been emptied and removed.  The laundry was going. (I don’t know how many loads were done) 

   And the midwives were preparing the placenta.  And by preparing I don’t mean sprinkling with a lemon sauce while sautéing in a skillet.  They cut it up into small pill-sized pieces which my wife has been taking with the rest of her supplements.  Lots of studies show ingesting the placenta reduces post partum.  Google it yourself, I’m not the one who needs convincing.  And side note, human beings are one of the only mammal species on the planet that doesn’t eat the placenta regularly after birth.  

   I brought the prepared quiche cakes back to bed where my wife and daughter were resting comfortably.  I settled in beside them and nourished my wife so she could nourish Von Bebe.  Thus begins the rest of our lives together...  and me trying not to be an ass.

Stay tuned for Act V, the final installment of my birth story.

12 Days Old

Birth Story - Act III

   My wife was fairly immobile throughout the whole process. With the midwife’s urging, we made a couple of trips to and from the bathroom which probably helped get things moving.  But by 6:30 am (I think) we ended up in the bathroom and weren’t moving at that point.

   By now my wife had been pushing with the contractions.  I don’t know when she started the pushing so I can’t say how long it lasted until the birth at 7:31am.  That last half hour was nothing less than a miracle.  And every moment with my daughter since has been pretty amazing, too.

   My wife was on the floor of the bathroom leaning over the edge of the bath tub.  She was between me and the midwife.  She kept repeating over and over again that she couldn’t do it. But she was there doing it the whole time.  As the baby was crowning I could clearly see a teeny head full of dark curly hair.  I don’t know how many times I lied to my wife saying “one more push and it’ll all be over”.  I’m not sure if this makes me an ass or not.  But the point when I saw the head halfway out, I believed it myself.  I cupped the head in my left hand and it felt like a warm, wet, hairy softball.  The midwife and I urged for another push and the head was out. I could see eyes, nose, lips and chin along with the hairy head.  And then I saw the lips purse and move.  Everything below the neck was still unseen, but this perfect little face and head just hung there waiting patiently for its body to arrive.

   And then it arrived with the final push.  It flooded into and through my hands as I half caught-half dropped my baby onto the bathroom floor.  Luckily, there were lots of towels to cushion our daughter’s entry into the world.  I was probably pretty useless at this point so the midwife helped me guide the baby into my wife’s arms.  A couple of minutes later my wife actually thought to check the sex of the baby.  I’ve been calling her an “it” for so long now that I’m still getting used to saying “her”. 

   Something tangible filled the room at that moment.  Besides the baby’s presence I mean.  It was in the air.  Words cannot explain it.  Relief?  Wonder?  Satisfaction?  Love?  Yes, it was all of these but much much more.  It was magic. (Wow.  Could this be any more cheesetastic?)

   In the midst of all of this, the midwife apprentice snapped this amazing picture that still takes my breath away.

Photographed by Karinda Woodward

9 Days Old

Birth Story:  Act II

   One of the most helpful things I did over the last few months was to watch home birth videos.  Lots of home birth videos.  The midwives gave us several to view.  And Youtube is a running font of birth videos.  I could not have watched enough of these.  I took a lot of information from these: how to massage my wife; where to put pressure; how to support her physically and emotionally.  Give her water between every contraction. This information was very helpful. 

   In between contractions I managed to set up the birth pool in the living room and got things ready for the midwives before they would arrive around 7:30 pm –ish. 

   I started filling it and realized the water was running cold after not very long.  This was a bad time to discover that when I turned the heat up on the water heater weeks ago, I actually turned it down.  Oopsie .  Not to spoil the end of this story, but this was the worst thing that happened.  And it was quickly remedied by pouring pots full of water from the stove into the pool.  Crisis averted.

   The next 10 hours are a blur.  Some of the videos we watched showed women looking very zen in their birthing pools with soft music and lit candles in the background.  Lots of soft moaning and ohming.  So of course, this is how we imagined it would be for ourselves.  Wishful thinking. 

   There was much more gripping, screaming and gritting of teeth.  (both hers and mine)  At least this is how it felt for both me and my wife.  Our midwife assures us that it was a very “mellow” birth.  However, it’s hard for me to imagine the birth as mellow with my wife clutching the collar of my sweater while leaning over the side of the pool, trying to deal with one of many, MANY contractions.  I guess compared to all the other births I’ve witnessed first hand (zero) it was the most mellow.

   I checked the clock a couple of times but not for any real reason.  I think I was just trying to make myself look busy.  I yawned… a lot.  I couldn’t help myself because by now I had been awake about 33 hours which for me is an exceptionally long time.  Our bedtime is usually between 9 and 10pm and a full night’s sleep for me is typically between 7 and 8 hours.  I was apparently annoying my partner with all my incessant yawning.  In a moment of impatience, she uttered the words “Don’t. Yawn!”  From then on I tried to hide it a little better.  I failed.  This was the worst thing she said to me throughout the entire birth.  Ergo… My wife is a Rock Star!


Act III coming soon.

6 days old

My wife is an absolute ROCK-STAR!!! More on that later.  I’m going to regale you with the story of my daughter’s birth.  It’s kind of long so I’m going to break it into small chunks.  Here is the first:

Act I

   I woke up Sunday morning January 8^th with my wife telling me that she’s been having more severe contractions since 1:30 am.  I say “more severe” because she’d been having Braxton Hicks contractions for a couple of weeks before the birth.  When she said this, I was immediately hopeful that things have started for real, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up.  I was not disappointed when we discovered a small wet spot on the couch where she had been sitting while watching episodes of StarTrek Enterprise and Parenthood on Netflix.  (I don’t care what Netflix has gone through this last year, I still LOVE it!)

   I don’t know why movies like to show water breaking with a gensis style flood pouring all over the floor.  Oh wait, yes I do.  Because if it showed real life, no one would watch it.

   We were scheduled to meet our midwife that afternoon so we called and decided to postpone until the evening when we felt like we would need their support.  So we spent the afternoon watching another episode of Enterprise and an episode of How I Met Your Mother while the contractions continued.  Nothing like a little Scott Bakula and Neil Patrick Harris to pass the time.

  I played the role of dutiful husband/birth partner and started recording the length of contractions and the time in between.  Sometime between 6 and 7 pm the contractions were getting pretty regular.  There was about 4 – 6 minutes between and they were lasting about a minute.  Note to those not wanting to be an ass:  don’t tell the mother the times of contractions.  The last thing they want to know is how long they’re actually lasting or how long until the next.  I learned this the hard way… once.

To be continued…  But here’s a little something to tide you over until I get around to the next section.  Whenever that may be.

Cute, huh?