Buddy VS Sweetie

I can’t stop myself from calling my daughter “Sweetie” and her friend (who is a boy) “Buddy”. I don’t do it on purpose.  I realize that I’m perpetuating the assignment of gender roles using the terms “buddy” and “sweetie”. But it’s involuntary. No matter how much I tell myself that I won’t play into gender stereotypes, it happens.  So much for being the self-actualized, twenty first century feminist papa.

Today was the first time I actually stopped myself and used the word “buddy” when getting my daughter’s attention.  Thankfully, she either didn’t notice or didn’t mind because she didn’t say anything.  In the past she has vehemently declared that I cannot call her “buddy”.  But only in the same way that she tells me we can’t “like” each other because we’re father/daughter.  We can only “love” each other.

 I try not to beat myself up over the buddy/sweetie thing.  But it’s hard not to hold myself accountable when I see some of the abhorrent shaming and bullying that happens online and what mostly likely occurs in the real world.  Unless I can make the change happen in myself, how can I expect the rest of the world to stop being an ass towards women and little girls.